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I’ve dreamed of zombies four times this month. Now me dreaming of zombies isn’t new or even strange. I have had zombie dreams since I was about 17 or so, but never with such frequency and hardly ever with such vivacity. I remember so much of what happened in at least two of them, that I’m convinced I must have seen something similar in my waking hours for it to have such a long lasting affect on me. And I do mean affect not effect, because after the third dream I went and read one of those dream interpretation things and I am FREAKING OUT!!

Okay, maybe not freaking out, but is it getting hotter in here or is that just life pressing down harder on my fragile little soul?

Believe it or not, I’m pretty well adjusted. I know I am a bit weird and off the mark when you’re reading these things, but there’s no filter between my brain and my hands so you get what you get. I’m almost….dare I say it for fear of being ostracized from the special snowflake club?

…I’m almost normal. Oh god I admitted it. Phew, it feels so good to get that out there in the open. To be free of this lie!

But it’s true, I’m practically generic, I keep just enough quirks and idiosyncrasies about myself to eschew being “basic.”

“ba·sic”
ˈbāsik/ adj. 1. Used to describe someone devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to. 2. Lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level. 3. Annoyingly frustrating because of the above
One of those endearing little qualities is obsessing about my idiosyncrasies and quirks. For example, I am currently obsessed with the way my voice sounds over recorded audio. Is that how I sound all the time? Is my voice really that high? Why do I talk so fast? How do others understand me when I’m talking so fast? Some of my words blend together, why? Why can’t I let go of the “s” at the end of a word? Why are ALL of my “S’s” so distinct? Oh my god why do I laugh so much? Why hasn’t anyone choked me into silence yet?!
And so on and so forth. So now my small, innocuous, harmless, little habit of dreaming about zombies has exploded into a full….. I suck at fractions, whatever comes between quarter and mid, that, insert fraction here-life crises.
Because, I went on this damn website and now I’m all wired up about being aimless and emotionally detached and fearing the future and the oxygen is missing from my living room now.
And I know what you’re probably thinking, “You can’t be emotionally detached if you’re having such an emotional reaction to blah blah blah.” And to that I say, shut up cause you sound like my best friend with all of her….. support and fucking logic.
So, I have no conclusion to this post. Today I had the fourth zombie dream and that approximates to about one zombie dream per week for the month of January. I am still in the midst of analyzing this, but I needed to vent without hearing SOMEONE, and she knows who she is, making me feel better about myself.  I’m only accepting criticism of my life choices and platitudes that corroborate my neurosis.
Thank you and Goodnight,
J.R. Henry

 

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